For many people, feedback has become a dirty word, often associated with harsh criticism, difficult conversations or poorly delivered advice that leaves everyone feeling worse. Yet when done well, feedback is one of the most valuable gifts a leader can give – and that any person can receive.
Good feedback is the gift of insight. It provides the perspective and guidance people need to grow, improve and achieve greater success. As a leader, when you can deliver feedback that truly helps someone learn and develop, you’re not just pointing out mistakes; you’re empowering them to do better because now they know better.
A practical approach to delivering constructive feedback is the GIFT framework: ‘Given with permission’, ‘Intent to help’, ‘Focused on behavior and the future’ and ‘Timely’. Here’s how you can use the GIFT approach to deliver feedback that helps rather than hinders.
G: Given with permission
Some leaders resist the idea of ‘asking permission’ to give feedback, thinking it lets people avoid hearing what they need to know. In reality, asking permission simply means choosing the right moment and creating openness for feedback. This step puts the other person in a receptive mindset, which is essential for productive conversations.
Asking permission simply means choosing the right moment and creating openness for feedback.
For example, you could start with, “Can I share some observations from today’s meeting?” or “I need to talk with you about how the project is tracking – is now a good time, or should we schedule it for later?”
This way, the person isn’t blindsided, nor can they dodge the conversation. Instead, they can be ready to listen and engage, which makes it far more likely that the feedback will land effectively.
I: Intent to help
The purpose of feedback should always be to help the person grow, not to punish, blame or shame. Feedback with genuine, positive intent – delivered in a constructive, kind manner – reduces defensiveness and shows that you’re on their side.
To set this up, start by explaining the ‘why’ behind the conversation. For example: “You’re a valued part of the team and I see real potential in you. That’s why I want to talk with you about your communication in meetings.”
When the person knows you’re coming from a place of care and investment in their growth, they’re more likely to absorb what you’re saying, even if it’s tough to hear.
Be specific too. Vague comments like, “You need to improve your communication” or “Be more strategic” are unhelpful. Instead, provide concrete examples and actionable suggestions. Specificity helps the person understand exactly what they need to work on and how to get there.
F: Focused on behavior and the future
Feedback should address what a person does, not who they are. Language makes a difference here. For instance, rather than saying, “You’re too aggressive,” try, “The way you respond in meetings can come across as abrupt and aggressive.”
This keeps the focus on actions, which the person can change, rather than on traits, which feel unchangeable and personal.
Feedback should address what a person does, not who they are.
Future focus is also critical. In fact, ‘feed forward’ is often a more productive approach than ‘feedback’. Rather than dwelling too long on what went wrong, acknowledge the issue, then shift the conversation toward solutions and learnings: “What could you do differently next time?” or “What adjustments would help us avoid this issue in the future?”
This feed-forward approach empowers the person to make changes and learn without getting bogged down by past mistakes.
T: Timely
Feedback should not be something you hold onto or save up. Don’t delay difficult conversations in the hope the issue will resolve itself. Feedback works best when it’s timely and problems are addressed as soon as they arise. Waiting only lets issues fester and grow, which can turn a small matter into a major conflict.
A person should never find out they’re underperforming for the first time in an annual review, yet it’s still a common scenario in many workplaces. Make feedback part of your regular one-on-one conversations – both for recognition (praise the positive) and constructive feedback (address the elephant).
When we avoid giving feedback, we don’t make problems disappear; we only make them harder to solve later.
That way, course corrections can happen early, before issues become entrenched or impact the team.
When we avoid giving feedback, we don’t make problems disappear; we only make them harder to solve later. Timely, direct conversations are crucial to maintaining a positive, proactive culture where people feel supported to grow and have the information they need to succeed.
The bottom line
Feedback doesn’t need to be intimidating and it shouldn’t be seen as a last resort. Delivered well, it’s a tool for learning, improvement and growth that everyone can benefit from.
With the GIFT approach, you can take feedback from something that’s dreaded to something that’s genuinely valuable and welcomed. Used well, feedback is one of the best gifts a leader can give – and one of the best ways we can support our people to become their best.
