Congruence in leadership is when our intentions, thoughts, actions and communication are aligned – when our intentions match our impact. But that’s only on the outside. When we look within, congruence is matching our leadership identity with our personal and social identities, so that we can express ourselves authentically and behave in line with our values.
The other dimension of congruence is over time or, to put it another way, consistency. It’s not uncommon to see mismatches here. More than likely, you’ve experienced that manager who says one thing this week, then something different the next. Or who moves a target just as you are about to hit it, without explanation or even acknowledgement.
Being consistent as a leader is powerful. It builds trust and creates a safe space for your team and organization to learn and experiment with confidence. It removes the constant second-guessing when those around you are in a permanent state of anxiety trying to figure out whether to do what you said, or to match your actions.
If we can stay committed when circumstances make that much more challenging, that’s what really makes the difference.
Typically people will follow actions over words, but it still creates stress knowing that what they are doing is going against what was said.
This isn’t about having to be perfect. However consistency is particularly important if you are working on changing or improving any aspect of your leadership. In this context, you must commit to the change.
For example, if you make an effort with your listening for a few weeks and then revert right back to your old habits once things get a bit busy, the inconsistency risks doing more damage than if you’d never made the effort in the first place.
To commit is to dedicate yourself to something, whether you feel like it or not. Most of us can do hard stuff for a while: when life is easy, when we aren’t too busy, when we aren’t tired. If we can stay committed when circumstances make that much more challenging, that’s what really makes the difference.
Five strategies to build consistency
1. Know your ‘why’
First, keep in mind your ‘why’ for your own leadership; that is, your purpose and vision for the leader you want to be. If you haven’t yet considered that, ask yourself:
- Why do you lead?
- Who do you want to be as a leader?
- Why is it important to you?
- What motivates you?
Take time to get really clear on your why. Then write it down and keep it somewhere near you, visibly. In the moments when it’s late, you’re tired, your to-do list is still growing, your inbox is full, your client is frustrated with you and all you want to do is go home and sleep … and one of your team members comes to you with something they’re struggling with – that’s when you need to remember why you’re doing this. That’s the moment to take a deep breath and recommit to your why, and your vision for the leader you want to be.
2. Create support structures
Look at what support you need to be as consistent as possible, especially when making changes. This could include: visual reminders, morning journaling or sharing what you’re working on with your team and asking for their support. There are many practical forms of support available too: apps that can remind you to practice, scheduling time in your calendar, even having standing items on your daily to-do lists.
Having an ambitious vision is one thing, but without systems and structures to help you achieve it, you will likely fall short. We almost always overestimate our own willpower and ability to remember to do things. As Atomic Habits author James Clear said, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
Another way to think about it is that you need to put in structures that are sufficient to the level of your resistance. You may be thinking: ‘But I am not resisting this, I want it.’ Perhaps. But in the moment that things feel hard or uncomfortable there will be a part of you that wants to take the easy path.
Some of our resistance is also in the form of our automatic thinking, where our ingrained habits have us doing something before we even realize it. Structures and systems are useful to interrupt that, to slow us down and start thinking more intentionally, thus allowing us to make changes.
By following these five strategies you’ll continue to build consistency.
3. Tackle small chunks
Don’t try to tackle everything you want to work on at once. If you try to change or work on too many things simultaneously, it rarely works. There’s too much to remember; too much to think about. The capacity of our conscious brain is relatively small. Instead, pick one area you’d like to improve and work on it for a period of time, focusing only on that until it starts to feel more natural and less like hard work. Only then add in something new.
4. Build new habits
Try to build new habits. If you approach your leadership as a process of building new norms, new ways of working that are habitual, they start to require less conscious thought. There are many excellent resources available on habit building. As a starting point, Clear’s book is a superb introduction to how to build habits that stick.
5. Practice
Finally, make a choice to relate to your leadership as practice. It takes the pressure off needing to be perfect and reduces the significance of every choice you make. As you make adjustments to build new habits and move closer to your vision of leadership – one that is congruent with the impact you seek to make – you won’t get everything ‘right’ the first time. By choosing to relate to everything as practice you can take each step, and each misstep, as an opportunity to learn.
By following these five strategies you’ll continue to build consistency, which in time will lead to both greater trust and confidence from your team.
