“How did those women get to the C-suite?”
That’s a question many women in the middle level ask, but it’s not a musing about expertise and experience. Women coming up in the ranks wonder how women who often manage thousands of people and thousands of dollars also manage to care for kids, aging parents and busy households.
More to the point, they wonder why women at the top don’t openly share the tips and strategies that helped them stay in the workforce and on track for long-term financial security.
That’s a fact revealed in my survey: women rising in the ranks do not feel that they get enough work–life transparency and support from women in the C-suite.
Dispelling the myths
So many high-potential women are left with questions and misperceptions.
“Is it really true that the majority of C-suite women have husbands or partners who willingly trade professional jobs for caregiving and household management?”
In my conversations with 50 women who are chiefs of many corporate disciplines, I learned that yes, about one-quarter of husbands or partners have opted to stay home; however, in most households, two parents are chasing nonstop careers.
So many high-potential women are left with questions and misperceptions.
If it’s not one parent taking the lead at home, then the question is, “Do C-suite women hire a legion of helpers to run the household and get kids to where they need to go?” I discovered that C-suite women do outsource, but they do not have a merry-go-round of 24/7 nannies or housekeepers who take care of every daily task.
Beyond these misperceptions, here are six secrets I’ve learned that more executive women need to share:
1. C-suite women excel at organizing their lives.
2. C-suite women have powerful low-cost or no-cost tips that ease work and life, but most of all, they bring their business skills home and create structure and systems to run their households and meet all family needs.
3. They view outsourcing as an investment, not a cost.
Since very early in their careers (when they were earning far less money), the C-suite women I interviewed did not worry about the big chunk of money paid out for childcare or the add-ons of housecleaning, gardening and the like. They consider any money they spend an investment in family time, self-care and additional hours to enrich their careers.
4. They make sure their partners are owners, not helpers.
Over the course of a month, managing a household and family can require as many as 100 day-to-day tasks, so a partner’s question, “How can I help?” is actually not helpful. Most women are wired to carry the mental load of four demanding jobs.
Most women are wired to carry the mental load of four demanding jobs.
To reduce that mental load, C-suite women get their partners to own a reasonably fair share of tasks that are routinely completed without direction. They also bring their work distribution and delegation skills home from the office, making sure assigned tasks play to each partner’s strengths and interests.
5. They’re not afraid to ask for help.
C-suite women know that in the office it’s impossible to do everything on their own. In all aspects of life, they get off their islands and ask for help. They’ve learned to lean on the resources of friends, acquaintances, family members, teachers and colleagues – and find ways to help others in return.
6. They solve problems to avoid a work hiatus.
C-suite women often talk to women on their team who reach a breaking point about their four jobs. The paid job is the expendable one – and they say they need to leave for a year or so to get things in order at home. (A couple of years away turns into an average of 12.)
C-suite women, too, have been in life situations that more than warrant a hiatus. But when things are not dire, they are pragmatic about challenges and say, “Don’t let a situation that could be solved in 30 days upend a career that could last 30 years.”
Sharing the secrets
All companies have hidden work–life resources. The C-suite women I spoke with make a point of knowing all the less communicated employee benefits that can reduce stress and increase productivity in their own lives and for everyone on their teams.
To keep talented women on your team, you don’t need the most cutting-edge and expensive leadership training initiatives. That’s the chicken after the egg.
What women want to know is that their executive counterparts – women who also have managed four jobs – are humans who have struggled, who are willing to show vulnerability and say, “Here’s how I solved it,” and provide perspective along the way.
